38 Weeks and Counting

I went today for my LAST doctor's appointment. I have my scheduled c section next Thursday and my pre op appointment on Wednesday, so he graciously agreed to not make me come back on Tuesday.  Today's appointment stunk for a variety of reasons. First of all, after a weekend of terrible contractions  I STILL have not even dilated to a one. This was the problem last time that led to c section number one. So all hopes of a vaginal delivery are pretty much gone. There wasn't much hope any way, but my body' refusal to dilate has surfaced again and c section date remains. Second issue: I mentioned that baby wasn't moving as much so the doctor said he would like to do a stress test just to be safe, but that it was probably nothing because with the head fully engaged in my pelvis it probably wouldn't move as much this last week. So I go do the test. Ten minutes. NO movement. They give me juice. Ten more minutes pass with zero movements. I AM PANICKING. I know the baby is alive because I'm watching its strong steady heartbeat (music to my ears) but I'm thinking that the cord is wrapped around the neck or something and they are going to have to deliver it immediately and something will be wrong. I can't calm down. Then in the next ten minutes baby wakes up, produces several visible movements, and I'm allowed to go home. Geez. I don't think I stopped shaking for 30 minutes.

I feel like pregnancy is a marathon. While this one has been a MUCH easier marathon than the last, I am still ready to be done. I want to be able to move without pain, stand up without feeling like I am going to pee on myself, lift my child without back pain, and run again. Not to mention that I miss wine and copious amounts of caffeine. I am so lucky to get pregnant ridiculously easy and basically without any effort, and I am so lucky to have a healthy child, and hopefully another healthy child next week. But pregnancy is not my friend. Unfortunately it makes me nauseous, irritable, and anxious because I don't know what's going on in there. For these reasons this will be our final baby, boy or girl. I would love to adopt a 3rd, but I don't think I could handle the stress and it's insanely expensive to give a child a home. (ridiculous) So with that being said I'm going to enjoy this last week and celebrate the end of pregnancy with sleep, ice cream, slushies and hanging out with my boys!!!